A Rant and Grinding Gears

Hey y’all!

Sorry for missing the usual post days, as you all know it was my birthday on Thursday and after that I got swarmed with family and events of sorts so I didn’t have much time. To add to that when I did have a couple spare hours I spent them studying for my psychology exam (which was yesterday). Now I have a couple of weeks to breathe before the next round haha! Moving on with things, I was actually canceled on by quite a few of my friends for a night out which was planned well in advance, so I don’t know what happened there. In fact it kind of ticks me off because I planned this entire event and made sure people were all ready and able to come a week prior and then checked in a couple days before…and last minute people flaked. God I really hate that. Anyway, the plan was to go out for a nice time at the night market with several friends as a birthday “party” type of deal. However, my best friend and I went for a nice dinner and drink at the bar–met some friendly people, followed by a limo ride around town. So over-all my birthday turned out pretty great, regardless of people canceling and plans changing. I also went on a bit of a shopping spree…got some Clique toner and Origins eye cream. I also got new headphones from Tweaked Audio (super excited for them to come!) …I also purchased 4 different teas from David’s Tea!! If you guys don’t already know this…I am kookoo for tea; if you ever met someone who knows cars like the back of their hand…I am the equivalent of that but with teas. It’s part of my 22 going on 100 thing haha.

Oh and to add to my fantastical few days…I had to take my cat to the vet’s office yesterday. She swallowed something and it got lodged in her throat, she couldn’t puke or cough it out so she was pretty pissed off and crying for help. I loaded her into the car and off we went! Doctor took an X-ray…said he can see a shadow of something but can’t make out what it is, said it wasn’t big enough to cause harm, massaged it down her throat somehow…anyway long story short: I got her home after the visit and gave her some special food that the doctor gave me, which is extra moist and wouldn’t irritate her esophagus/help push the item down into her stomach where it will be digested and passed through. Anyways…she’s fine! Haha so I am happy, was really worried there for a little while.

Onward!

What really grinds my gears:

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1. Making yourself the victim when you are at fault. Not at all effective and just angers the person you are fighting or arguing with even more. If you are wrong …just admit it! Clearly the other person already knows, there really is no reason to fight it by making the other person the villain while you pretend to be the victim. Just suck it up and apologize or admit wrong.
2. Making someone feel awkward for liking/disliking something. Why should someone have to conform to another’s interests, likes, or dislikes. I frankly rather meet someone who thinks differently about something than I do; it makes for interesting conversations. As long as the individuals are respectful of the each other’s opinion(s) and don’t poke and prod faults in things the other person enjoys or make the person feel inferior.

3. Patting yourself on the back. I don’t mean literally. I understand if someone is introducing themselves and they have a PhD and say “Hi, my name is Dr. Wilson” or making a point; the type of patting on the back I am talking about is the people who tend to re-state their achievements, shove their success in other’s faces, or constantly hint at their status/job. It just bothers me. You know the saying “the loudest in the room is the weakest”…yeah it serves really true. Someone who has to validate themselves to the same group of people by constantly talking themselves up is clearly a sad individual; how low of self-esteem do you have? My sympathy goes out to you self–back-patters.

4. Subtle guilt trips. I think you all know what I’m talking about! Those situations where someone tries to convince you into feeling like an ass by implying little hints here and there of how lonely they are, how unfair something you did/didn’t do was, and etc. Blunt guilt trips are less annoying because that just means that someone is blatantly expecting sympathy or care or attention from you, or an apology–fine, whatever. But when someone is being sly about it is when it really ticks me off. I know what you’re doing, just stop trying to hide the fact that it’s a guilt trip.

5. Deciding things for me. This is by far one of my biggest pet peeves. Believe me…I can decide on my own. I am a grown woman who can make her own choices. So, please…save your decision making for yourself. Especially if you decide my meal at a restaurant (without prior agreement)…I will just up and leave.

6. Saying “I’m fine” when you aren’t. Honestly, I am not a baby sitter or a shrink…I don’t get paid to deal with people who don’t want to cooperate or talk. If you are clearly not okay don’t try to be the hero of the day by “not troubling” me and just say the truth when I ask you — it’s a lot worse to sit quietly and clearly sigh and have a sour expression than to just say it and move on. No gold stars involved. Believe me I won’t waste my time pulling words out of your mouth, either don’t show you’re upset or talk! That’s what adults do.

7. Manipulation. This is at the top of my list. I don’t care what your motives are or how good of an intention it is. I also don’t buy the whole “I didn’t realize it” game…people who manipulate and also claim they don’t are the worst snakes in the bush. Some jackasses out there are fantastic at it too! You can hardly figure it out until you see a pattern or some sort of clue behind what they say or do. Steer clear of these hidden “gems”.

8. Privacy invasion. Everyone has different boundaries and that’s understandable. I for one, love to keep my privacy…and I hate when people knowingly cross that boundary. That includes asking “who’s that?” every time my phone buzzes, going through my stuff if I happen to leave my phone/notebook on the table…etc. Just a big no-no. Trust me and let me know I can trust you too!

9. Assuming your opinion was asked. Friends and family have a tendency to do this, with good intention which is why I let it go most of the time. It really rubs me the wrong way when someone dictates how I should do something or just adds their thoughts to my already made plan (unless it concerns them)…that kind of stuff just ticks me off. I will ask your opinion if it’s important to me to hear it and if it’s needed. I don’t barge into your house and dictate when you should put your kid to sleep, what kind of bread is better for making bread pudding, or how to properly clean a sink; so, don’t “suggest” anything for me unless I ask you. It’s just rude to assume it’s your business. (mothers and fathers are the only exception)

10. And finally…it really grinds my gears when people have a doubt in my honesty. Even after years of friendship or knowing me…some people just tend to not trust others, regardless of being proven that you are trustworthy. I wouldn’t blame you if something I say doesn’t match my previous story or if I accidentally mislead you and now said or did something different (which would never happen). But constant doubt in my actions or words is a really big piss-off…it makes me wonder if the reason you are so suspicious is because you are lying to me; you know in Russia there’s a saying: people often judge others by what they do/think. So…yep!

Well that concludes my grinding gears passage for tonight!

Hope y’all have a lovely week and I will be back on Thursday/Friday (for sure this time) for more fun stuff, next post will include an awesome recipe and will most likely involve some reviews of products…so be sure to come back and take a look!!

P.s. Going to dentist tomorrow (well today, it’s already past midnight here haha). Yikes! I hate it with a passion, but needs to be done. The picture bellow describes my exact emotional state about this said dentist trip:

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21 going on 100

Hey y’all.

So…my birthday is coming up in less than 2 weeks and I realized that I am 21 going on 100 (not 22). Seriously! My best friend is a pipe smoking, elbow-patched tweed and fedora wearing 24 year old, so that doesn’t help. I don’t smoke, but I do have a cat. I mean just the other day my shopping list included: Sensodine toothpaste, fresh baked bread for my afternoon tea, a small liver pate for the said bread, cat food and some oatmeal. All I was missing from really being 100 is some denture cleaning tablets and protective pads in-case I pee myself a little when I struggle to get up off my couch. Honestly…it’s slightly depressing! If you throw in my slippers, the fact that I always complain about people/society, listen to audio-books at times, need a portable heater because I get cold easily, warm my feet in hot water baths, and drink hot tea constantly…then I am one sad sounding 20-something year old. Oh, lets not forget the crazy amounts of recipes I’ve collected (and still collecting more), several tomes of classic French cooking, and that I am always complaining about drafts and breezes. Yikes not even my two tattoos will save me from being geezer-esque! No wonder I’m single…

Onward!

I realized that a show can really reach you deep down after I finished Scrubs a few months ago…yeah I know, gross squishy content. But it really can! Scrubs was quite a special show it had it all comedy, love, it had hate…it had life wrapped up in 8 fantastic seasons. After watching it…all i could think about is how well it eventually played out for the characters. I only wish life was that way…and in many cases it is, but we are too busy drowning out the good by listening too closely to all the bad.

We really do underestimate the power we have on people around us. Words, actions, even looks we give people can either help someone or hurt them. That’s a big deal. Most of us never realize that every act of kindness or cruelty comes back to us in ways we never expected it to. We all worry about what other people think…that’s normal…but sometimes the right thing to do is to not give a damn about what anyone but you thinks. Believe it or not, there are situations that are better dealt with using your own discretion. Do what makes you happy, to hell with everyone else.

No matter how much I wish things in my life went the way I wanted and heck even prayed to the lions down in Africa for them to end up a certain way…and they didn’t. I was left with a bitter sadness and I always knew that no matter how much you want something to be different, sometimes there just isn’t a thing on this green earth that can shift it for the better. The truth is, that most times we don’t really get any good with the bad…but the good normally follows soon after that bad, we just don’t realize it most of the time.

I am not a super cheerful person, heck I’m a downright pessimistic lump some days (it’s not an act to gain a “tough” rep or something either, it’s real). Most of that comes from being a realist…I don’t believe that just because I wished on a penny and threw it into a fountain I am bound to have a chance with that wish, no. Life isn’t a movie. But life is special. We all get chances, make choices, and heck sometimes we even shoot ourselves in the foot (figuratively speaking, or for some crazies, literally)…however even with all the wrong choices, bad decisions, and self sabotage…each day when we wake up we have the chance to fix it all and then go ahead and start making new choices/decisions and learning all over again. That never changes.
When it comes down to it, everyone goes through life their own way…but at the end of the day all that matters is that you have the select few people who give enough of a damn to stick around the entire bumpy ride.

*gag* Sorry that was too emotional for me…but that doesn’t make it untrue. In fact it makes it so true that it made me gag.

Now, go be filled with little warm fuzzies of happiness and have a great week!

I’m off to have my cup of tea and do a tad of cleaning before I head out to the night market here in my town, it’s my second time going there…my last visit when I was too young to remember much, so I’m excited!

 

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Meteor Shower Of Thoughts

Hey y’all.

Apparently there was supposed to be a meteor shower tonight, so I was just outside for a good hour looking at the sky, listening to the silence of the night and talking to my heart trying to explain why I feel how I do lately; sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been different in my life if certain things happened or didn’t happen, what if I had done things I didn’t do and not done somethings I did do…I know, it’s pointless the past is the past and you can’t change it but history is bound to repeat itself unless we learn from it. So I kept talking to my heart trying to really listen to what it is trying to tell me because, I usually only listen to my brain-it’s proven more effective in life. However…I miss hearing from my heart. It has become so drowned out by my logic and so detached from my everyday life that I almost begin to feel like what I imagine a man feels like when he manages a large company. Full steam ahead, logic and reasoning over any ounce of emotion, strict and calculated movements…that’s because in the past I was like every other woman-cheerful, vivacious, emotionally in-tune with myself and responded to things in a way that isn’t so…reserved. They were good days but had some serious down falls. For example that lead me to one of my (now ex) boyfriends, the relationship we had and then the on and off period after the break-up happened and other things which have caused me to tell my emotions and heart to take a hike until further notice. Well tonight, as I was sitting there I allowed my heart to speak…everything became so clear, I heard what my heart was telling me, I understood it and funny enough…this time around my heart and my head are perfectly in sync. They agree. It’s amazing what being alone in silence and without a single distraction can help you understand about yourself. I think we could all benefit from these moments once in a while. Sadly…I didn’t see any meteors tonight, we have too much light pollution here in the city. God I miss the country…a velvet sky crammed full of stars as bright as diamonds and the fresh air that is so uncontaminated compared to the city it’s almost sweet. Summer nights laying in the bed of a pick-up truck or on a blanket, bonfire a few feet away…that’s what life is about, it’s about the people, the universe, enjoying nature and a good song in the background of it all; it’s not about sleek high rises in the middle of down-town full of expensive modern “art”, clubs with music so tasteless and obnoxious it makes your head hurt, and definitely not about how many times you’ve gone to a tanning salon this month. I know it’s idealistic of me to say that, maybe, but then again…is it really that off-the-wall these days to believe that the world is about more than just what’s under our spoiled noses? There are people out there who are so spoiled they allow themselves to give in to their moods and allow themselves the freedom of just being how they are and doing whatever they want to do without any concern for other’s and put no effort at all for being pleasant or concerned with someone else other than themselves. They expect to be understood and forgiven almost instantly with a simple remark of “I’m having a bad day” and “sorry for being a dick but that’s just what today is gonna be like, you don’t wanna be around you can get outta my face just so you know though, I am making no effort” embedded in their tone or straight up said. Honestly…what kind of world are we coming to if that’s how so many people I have encountered act? I don’t think only the air is polluted in big cities, I think the majority of the people are also polluted. It’s alarming to think that I am surrounded by cold, uncaring, callous, impassive, and not genuine people.

You know, a little while ago…someone told me I look like Megan Fox…I thought to myself “is this really what’s considered a compliment these days” ? Do people really like hearing they look like a celebrity because that is what defines their ideas of beauty? I much rather that person had just said “you look lovely today” or “Nice necklace!” than comparing me to someone in order to gauge how pleasant I am to look at. I don’t even look remotely like her! Nor would I want to, I like to look like myself.

After tonight, I don’t know what I’ll change about my life, maybe nothing quite yet. However, I now utterly understand what I want out of this life and how I want to live my years on this planet. I know more clearly what kind of people I want beside me, as well as those I don’t and I know what I need to alter about myself to make myself better because we should never stop growing and bettering ourselves. This kind of thing doesn’t happen very often, in fact so rarely that I don’t remember the last time I actually took the time to listen and understand myself in all entirety. I think I might start giving myself time for self-reflection and world reflections every once in a while, it feels good to have time to be alone with your thoughts and raw emotions once in a blue moon… just as long as it’s done with self-control, no one needs to immerse themselves too deeply otherwise it can get a little dangerous.

Hmm well this turned into the rantings of a mad woman but doesn’t mean it ain’t all true, at least to me. Sorry, this post got a little long! Anyway, feel free to leave feedback y’all! I love reading what my readers have to say! But for now, I bid y’all a good night 🙂